Respecting a person’s chosen name and pronouns is one of the simplest yet most meaningful ways to affirm their identity. In medical settings, where sensitivity and care are essential, this recognition can greatly affect a patient’s experience. For Los Angeles parent Bennett Kaspar-Williams, however, that respect was repeatedly denied during one of the most significant moments of his life — the birth of his child.
In October 2020, Bennett and his husband, Malik, welcomed their son, Hudson, via cesarean section. At the time, Bennett identified as male and used he/him pronouns. Despite completing all necessary hospital paperwork to reflect his gender identity, Bennett was continually misgendered by nurses and medical staff, who referred to him as a “mother” rather than a father.
“The only thing that made me dysphoric about my pregnancy was the misgendering that happened to me when I was getting medical care for my pregnancy,” he shared, describing how the experience overshadowed what should have been a joyful milestone.
Bennett, now 37, has since become an advocate for inclusive care and greater understanding of transgender and non-binary parents. His journey to parenthood began years earlier, after coming out as transgender in 2011 and beginning his transition in 2014. He underwent top surgery before starting a family but had not undergone procedures affecting fertility.
When Bennett and Malik decided to have a child, he temporarily paused testosterone treatment to restore fertility. To their surprise, conception happened naturally soon after. However, their pregnancy coincided with the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. “This was just about a week before we went into lockdown here in March 2020,” Bennett recalled. “My high spirits were quickly replaced by anxiety around the pandemic and how I would keep myself and my baby safe.”
While the pregnancy itself was meaningful, the repeated misgendering by medical staff was painful. It highlighted how deeply gender assumptions are embedded in healthcare — from forms and procedures to language used by professionals. Bennett’s experience showed that even when patients communicate their identity clearly, institutional systems often lag behind, creating distress during moments that require empathy and support.